Lemon aid

Well Stephanie and her mom went back to the doctor last week to hear the heartbeat and give blood.  I couldn't go because of work.  I'm sure he used the VCR box again and played the same tape so I probably didn't miss much.  Well, while my wife was there, they found her to have high blood pressure.  It could be a problem but they want to check things out first.  How will they check things? Let me tell you.  My wife will probably kill me for telling people this but I feel like I have to.  What you are about to read is for educational purposes only, not for entertainment.
  Well they send her home with what looks like a quart measuring cup.  You know, like the ones you cook with.  It has wings on each side and everything is plastic.  Well this thing fits in the toilet bowl.  The wings fit on top of the edges with the measuring cup suspended in the bowl right over the water.  We are talking really high tech stuff here.  Well my poor wife has to pee in this thing and then pour it into a orange jug.  She has to do this for a full 24 hours.  I told her I would help her fill up the jug so she wouldn't have to do it for so long but she said that probably wouldn't be good.  Well she has to keep her colored liquid in this jug until the next day.  Well folks this is when it really gets good.  Guess where they told her she had to keep the jug?  Yes people, IN THE FRIDGE.  You have to be fridging kidding me. 
We clean out half of the fridge to put this toxic jug in.  Once the jug was in the fridge, I did not eat or drink anything that was in the fridge.  You can ask Stephanie.  I didn't even open the fridge.  This poor jug has it's own shelf all by itself.  There is nothing anywhere close to it.  Just picture opening your fridge and on one side a 2 litter of coke and on the other side, everything stacked on top of everything.  Well the next day comes and it's Friday.  My wife gets up, does some things around the house, then gets the jug ready to be delivered back to the doctor.  She has to put it in a big bag that says "Bio hazard" and carry it from the parking lot to the office.  After getting to the office with delivery in hand, the door is locked.  Yes people, the doctor leaves early on Fridays.  Stephanie then has to take this package back to her car and come home.  Now what the hell do we do.  She calls a 24 hour office line and they tell her to dump it out and do everything again on Sunday and bring in Monday.  I believe this is a test from the doctor to see if my wife is really committed to having this baby.  Let me tell you right now, she is.  Well, we have another day that the fridge is off limits. Monday comes and she takes he colored liquid to the doctor and this time gets to leave it there.  So glad this is over for her. 
We still have the measurement cup and I think we can put it to use.  It looks like the attachment you use to potty train a baby.  We can just hold on to it and use it later.  Well, The fridge was cleaned and sanitized and any food that was near by was thrown away. This session is over for my wife and I hope she doesn't get to mad at me for telling you about it.  The only advise I can give people about this is if you ever come over to our house, Never drink any lemon aid found in our fridge.